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He swung his arms, cracking his knuckles against the fridge, and swore. Then
he ran his fingers through his spiky white-blond hair.  I ve spent all this time trying
Khyber Run 197
to prove I can be Muslim yet not be a religious freak. Now I don t know if I meet the
standards at all.
I d had the opposite discussion with a seaman recruit that Chaps brought to
me a month ago, one who had just discovered Islam and thought being obedient had
to mean being obnoxiously obtrusive.  Saying these things is a cultural norm, not a
religious requirement. There are Christians who don t say  Praise Jesus out loud
five or six times a day, just as there are Christians who do. If you don t pay
attention to the words, they re just noises anyway. Their function is to focus your
mind where it needs to be.
He grinned crookedly.  The holy words are just noises. I never thought I d hear
you say something like that.
I smiled back, though my head hurt too much to really care whether it looked
right.  I m not a teenager any more. From this side of thirty, I can see the difference
between mellowing out and selling out.
He shook his head.  Amazing.
Why was it so easy to talk tolerance here, when outside this plywood enclave
any sign of tolerance was grounds for murder?
I wanted to go home, suddenly. If home was a reality for anyone past
childhood.
 Are you going to keep volunteering for TADs?
 I didn t volunteer for his one.
He whirled to face me.  What!
I raised my hand.  Never mind. Yes, I plan to volunteer for more. Getting off
the ship is good for me.
Oscar wasn t on my ship. Spending time here was no guarantee of seeing him,
but staying on my nice safe ship would guarantee not seeing him. I puzzled over the
question of why I wanted to see him, when he called me by my brother s name, and
set aside the question. I did want to see him. I wanted to hear his voice, too. I
198 Amber Green
wanted to touch his glossy black hair, wanted to feel his gentle lips and rough
hands on me.
And if it was a sin, I d willingly pay the price.
Blue paced until I asked him to help me make the bed; then he insisted on
making it for me. Then he shut and locked the windows, for security. He said he d
be back at 0730 and would bring me coffee and something halal for breakfast.
I smiled. I hadn t had coffee in years. But it was nice of him to think of it.
I took a doubled dose of the medication and lay down. Going to sleep
nevertheless seemed to take a long time.
I woke up in the dark with someone in the room. I waited for him to say
something, or to attack, or something.
 I nearly got you killed.
Oscar. I relaxed. Really, there was not a single person in the world I would
rather wake up to.  By missing the knife? If he had it on him, I missed it too.
 I still don t know where he hid it.
I yawned.  He was over near the packs, the tack. It could have been in there. I
didn t search his packs.
 But I know better.
 I know a lot of things, Oscar. That doesn t mean I always put them into
practice.
 I want you to know one more thing. I never saw you as any kind of substitute
for Bravo. For one thing, he was straight. His tone was raw, harsh. Like he d been
screaming a long time.
 You re not coming down with an upper respiratory infection, are you?
 A cold? Don t think so.
 Good. For a medical person, I really didn t like being around people with
minor ailments. Colds. Bruises. Hangovers. You tell them to just endure it, and they
react like you ve repealed the entire Bill of Rights.
Khyber Run 199
 Should I leave?
I thought about it. If an international incident hit the media, he and I would
both become pariahs, dangerous people to know. Otherwise, I was probably safe to
be around.  It depends. All this could still blow up on us.
His voice went hoarser.  Don t fuck with me. Just answer. Am I welcome?
I threw back the blanket and welcomed him.
Loose Id Titles by Amber Green
Khyber Run
Steal Away
The HUNTSMEN Series
Lights Out!
Backtrack
Bareback
Amber Green
Being a bespectacled were-grammarian as well as a professional paper-pusher,
I submerge myself in fiction in an attempt to find high adventure (as opposed to
anything involving actual expenditure of sweat), lots of nookie, or sometimes just a
reality that makes sense. Really. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]