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you the truth, sir! Except that she was a strong-natured woman. That
sort often attract weak men.
a fearsome doubt 67
As he was leaving the Yard for the day, Rutledge found himself think-
ing about Bennett s last comment. He wished there was a viable excuse
for calling on Cutter, but without making his interest in the Shaw case
too apparent, there was nothing he could do at this early stage. As
Hamish had warned him several times that day, he ought to watch his
step. Bennett was very likely trustworthy, but he was also ambitious.
And Rutledge had learned from his first day at the Yard that ambition
ran rampant in the passageways and offices.
He himself had never craved promotion. It was a mark of achieve-
ment, but he had long since discovered that he preferred dealing with
inquiries firsthand instead of rising to the level of delegating authority
to others. He had found too often that objectivity was lost with ambi-
tion, and pleasing one s superior officer became more important than
getting to the root of an issue.
Philip Nettle, who had been the first officer charged with the Shaw
case or the Winslow case, as it had begun had complained several
times that Bowles was pushing him to conclusions.  You can t know
that, Bowles was fond of saying.  Stick with what you do know, man,
and leave imagination to the press.
 Aye, Hamish agreed.  It isna always wise to look for complexity
when there is none!
Complexity, Rutledge retorted as he walked out the door, was often
what saved the innocent. Judging only by the obvious facts could lead a
policeman astray.
 It isn t the guilt of a man, he said as he turned the crank on his mo-
torcar,  that we set out to establish, but the truth in a case. And some-
times that s buried deep.
 Aye, Hamish agreed bitterly.  I wouldna be lying sae deep in a
French grave, if there had been time to sort out the truth. . . .
Wincing, Rutledge put his motorcar into gear and turned out onto
the street.  You gave me no choice, he said.
 I couldna give you a choice, Hamish agreed.  Else there would
have been a longer list of the dead on my ain soul. I couldna bear it. As
ye re haunted, so was I.
68 charles todd
Unsettled that night, Rutledge considered what to do about
the Shaws. The wisest course was to ask Mrs. Shaw to hand over the
locket to Chief Superintendent Bowles and wash his own hands of de-
cision. He could walk away then with a clear conscience. But if Bowles
refused to take the matter any further, what then? Push that small,
damning piece of jewelry out of his own mind, as if it didn t exist?
Pretend that there was no question about Shaw s guilt, even though he
knew there was?
He d seen the locket. He had absolutely no doubt about its authen-
ticity. The truth was, he wasn t as certain that he could trust Bowles.
And whatever he decided, the rearrangement of the papers in his
desk drawer had left Rutledge with a feeling that Bowles was already
looking over his shoulder. Waiting for what?
 For you to put a foot wrong, Hamish responded.  I d no gie him
the shovel to bury you with.
 I ve been pitched into doing the devil s work, Rutledge said.  Any
way you look at it. Bowles may crucify me for trying to find the truth.
Mrs. Shaw will damn me if I walk away. And Shaw himself will haunt
me until I know what happened.
 Aye. It s a fearsome thing, judgment. I wouldna be in your shoon.
In the morning, tired and hampered by the restlessness that was
Hamish s response to Rutledge s own uncertainties, Rutledge went
back to the church where he had stopped on his first visit to Sansom
Street.
The rector the name on the door read Bailey was in his small,
cluttered office at the back of the church, and rose to greet Rutledge
with a quiet interest.
 I ve come back again, Rutledge said,  because I have more ques-
tions to ask. They aren t official; you can refuse to answer them, if you
wish. But I need information, and there s no other way to get it except
to ask.
 You look tired, Mr. Bailey remarked as the light from the win-
dows fell on Rutledge s face.  Sleepless night, was it?
One of many, he could have said. Instead, Rutledge admitted,  In a
way. I m on the horns of a dilemma, you see. He set his hat on the chair
a fearsome doubt 69
beside him, and began to explain. Bailey listened in silence. Rutledge,
trying to read his man, came to the conclusion that Bailey was not as
struck by the events of the last week as he himself was. Or else hid his
curiosity more cleverly.
 I can t resolve your problems, the rector said when Rutledge had
finished.  I have no reason to think that Ben Shaw was innocent. And
no reason to believe that he was guilty. The courts drew that conclusion,
not I. I simply offered comfort to the family and helped them survive.
 Pilate couldn t have said it better, Rutledge commented.
Bailey smiled.  If I judge, to what end will that come? Should I have
lectured Mrs. Shaw on her poor choice of husband?
 From what I ve heard, he was a cut above her, but a poor
provider.
 Or perhaps he d given her a taste for the kind of life she really
wanted to live, and then walked away from it himself, Bailey pointed
out.  I never discovered why he chose to work with his hands, when he
might have done much better for himself using his mind.
 If his family rejected his wife, he may have rejected their way of
life and taken up something more suitable to hers. As I remember, she [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]