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the table during dinner even though I get bitched at by Beth. I end up having to freaking ask Lacey to
research it for me and get back to me. Maybe my period is just late? It's never been before, but it is now.
It is fucking now. I text Lacey with a few, minor details and don't even bother to try and hide the fact that
I'm worried. She sends me some stupid emoticon faces and says she'll call me later.
 You look like you've seen a ghost, Ty tells me at one point, but I can't even look at his face. We had
sex, a lot of sex, without condoms, and I'm seriously surprised by this? Wow. Good job, Never. Way to
go on taking control of your sex life. I try to smile and laugh at my sisters' jokes, try to tell Zella something
interesting about my life, but all I can think about is this.
I might be pregnant.
I try to tell myself that might is a very important word and that I can't worry about it yet. Then I start
thinking about what I would do if I was pregnant and things don't seem so rosy anymore. Abortion?
Adoption? Single parent? Family? Which option will I get? Some of them are choices; others are not. If I
am pregnant and Ty finds out, he could take off. He doesn't look like the daddy type with his rings and his
piercings and his fuck this and fuck that attitude.
 I don't think the Sharks have a chance, Noah says in reference to hockey or basketball or some other
stupid sport that I don't give a rat's ass about.
 Fuck the Sharks, Ty says, and somehow that comment just makes me sick to my stomach. Or maybe
it's just Beth's nasty wheat rolls. Or the baby. Or yeah, it could be that. I run to the bathroom and throw up,
surprised as fuck to find that Ty has picked the door's lock and come in behind me. He holds my hair back
and tries to be soothing.  Your sister is the world's worst cook, he says.  I thought India was bad, but
wow, Beth takes the cake.
I don't answer him. Presently, I'm neck deep in toilet water and puke, so it's sort of not an option. I'm
also afraid that I can't look at him without blurting it out. There's also the possibility that he'll see it in my
eyes. Ty seems to be able to read me like a freaking book.
 Go away, I moan, but he just sits on the counter and waits for me. Afterward, we pop out front for a
cigarette. I vaguely realize that if I am pregnant, that smoking might not be the best thing in the world for
me, but I do it anyway because otherwise, I don't know what I'll do. Run through the house screaming is
more like it. Maybe I should fuck, Ty, you know? Might as well, right? Can't hurt.
 Are you feeling any better? Noah asks, coming out the door with a cup of clear soda in one hand and
a straw in the other. He tries to pass these to me, and I stare at him like he's a crazy person. If I was
pregnant with his baby, things might be different. Noah has money and family ties and he's the perfect sort
of dude for something as strange and foreign as fatherhood. I glance at Ty and watch him blow puffs of
smoke into the air. Shit.
 Thanks, I say, but I don't take the items. I still feel like shit. Can morning sickness hit this quick? I
pull out my phone and text Lacy again. There's already a poorly written text waiting for me.
K nev internet says stress could cause late perid. I stare at her misspelled word and suddenly want to
choke the life out of someone. Could be her, could be someone else. Preferably, it's me. I'm the dumb ass
here. Me and Ty.
And? I type. Anything else?
Could also be preggers tho. Wow. How helpful is that? so glad to be a dyke 2day.
More info would be nice, Lacey. I am freaking the fuck out over here, and I can't get online without
getting nagged and bombarded. Hurry, please.
 Girl talk? Ty asks with his head tilted to the side.  Or can I be creepy and read it all? I roll my eyes
and ignore him. Noah, in an effort not to look awkward with the soda and straw, sticks the striped thing in
the cup and drinks it.
morning scknss can strt as early as 2 wks but usually not. go get a test frm the stre. luv u grl and
cant wait to c u. miss you.
I sigh and turn off my phone. She's kind of sweet but also kind of dumb. I slip my phone back in my
pocket and start a fresh cig. I'm going to need a whole truckload of them to survive until I find out.
 Never, Lorri says, opening the door and gesturing wildly.  Come back inside. We're playing
charades!
 The game of champions, Ty says as Noah touches my arm lightly on his way inside. I try to follow,
but Ty stops me.  Everything okay? he asks, and there's this moment that changes everything because
despite my better judgment, I lie.
 Yep, everything's fine.
Then I spend the rest of the evening wallowing in how I've practically ruined everything that Ty and I
have built together by not telling the truth. I try to explain to myself that I don't know for sure yet, but that [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]