[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

fucking thing. If you won t get rid of it, I will.
Owen shoved his back against Kellen s chest to keep him pinned in the booth while he jerked on
the buckles holding the cuff in place. Kellen didn t know why he was fighting Owen. He d love for
someone to remove Sara s burden from his wrist, but by the time Jacob wandered onto the bus and
pulled them apart, they were both bruised and disheveled. Owen had the cuff in his hand, and Kellen
had a scrap of Owen s T-shirt clutched in his fist.
 What the fuck? Jacob said, holding Owen in a headlock.  Never thought I d see the day when
you two came to blows.
 Give me my fucking cuff back, asshole, Kellen said, yanking his wrist free from Jacob s steely
grip.
 You took his cuff? Jacob asked.
 He doesn t need it anymore, Owen yelled.
 I agree, Jacob said,  but don t you think he should get rid of it willingly? It just symbolizes
Sara; it s not Sara. Getting rid of the cuff isn t going to change how he feels.
Kellen wasn t so sure. He d had a whole lot of fun and shared a whole lot of intimacy with
Dawn when the cuff had been off his arm the night before. He didn t know why he had such an
emotional connection to a piece of jewelry. It was stupid. Like a little kid who wouldn t give up his
security blanket because he was convinced the boogie man lived under his bed.
 Then he won t care if I burn it, Owen said.
 Don t! Kellen s voice cracked. Already his wrist felt exposed without the cuff in place.  I
tried to throw it away last night, but it came back to me.
 You did? Owen asked, his stance shifting to one that was still guarded, but not threatening.
Kellen nodded.  I threw it in the ocean and it immediately washed back ashore.
 Try throwing it into a volcano and see if it comes back to you then, Owen said.
Kellen glared at him.
Jacob released Owen and pointed at the dining table.  Both of you sit down and talk this out.
There s no sense in letting misunderstandings and petty arguments come between friends when
everything can be solved with a simple conversation.
 Oh, hey, kettle, I m pot and wow, you re black, Owen said.
Yeah, that was some pretty hypocritical advice coming from Jacob.
 What? Jacob said.
 Uh, you ve been holding a grudge against Adam for how many years now? Owen said.  And
for why?
 But you and Kellen never fight. Adam and I have always had differences.
Owen looked at Kellen and held the cuff in his direction.  Here, he said.  Put it back on if it
makes you feel better.
Kellen s hand felt like a leaden weight. His breathing became shallow. His lips trembled. He
could feel the pressure of tears behind his eyes as his throat tightened until he thought he d suffocate.
For what? For a stupid strap of leather? It wasn t Sara. Wearing it didn t really keep her close. It
wasn t even a tribute to his memories of her. It just made him miserable.
 Get rid of it, he said breathlessly.
Owen drew his clenched fist to his chest, holding the bracelet against him as if to comfort it.
Kellen couldn t take his eyes off the black strap. He was tracking it like a cat preparing to pounce.
 Are you sure? Owen said.  You know I can t stand you to be mad at me.
 I m sure. Do it quick before I change my mind.
Owen brushed past him and hurried down the bus steps. Jacob caught Kellen s arm when after a
few very long seconds, he turned to follow Owen.
 Stick to your guns, man.
Kellen nodded and sank onto a sofa. He stared down at his bare wrist. It looked as foreign as it
felt. The skin was a shade paler than that of his hand and forearm. So even though the cuff was gone,
the evidence was still there. He closed his eyes and massaged his arm with his free hand.
 You know what you need? Jacob said, taking a seat beside him.
 A bottle of whiskey?
 A wristwatch. Jacob unfastened the analog watch he sometimes wore before a concert he
was paranoid about being late and had a hard time reading digital clocks correctly. He handed the
watch to Kellen. Kellen appreciated the gesture, but he didn t think it would help. He put it on anyway
and while it wasn t the same as wearing a cuff the watch band was cold metal, a bit looser, and
about half the thickness of his bracelet it did make his wrist feel less exposed and he wasn t
compelled to massage it, as if he had cuff obsessive-compulsive disorder.
 Thanks.
Jacob slapped him on the back and then rose from the sofa.  Now you just have to make sure I
get to the show on time.
Ah, so there was a catch.
Kellen reached for the clasp on the back of the watch s silver band.  I don t need 
Jacob s hand circled Kellen s wrist.  Wear it until you get your head out of your ass.
Kellen laughed.  So you re not expecting this back anytime soon?
 However long it takes.
Owen returned to the bus a short while later. Kellen had a bit of blue rope in one hand and was
rubbing it with his thumbs, remembering how it had looked against Dawn s pale skin.
 So you traded a cuff for a watch and a piece of rope?
Kellen didn t respond. He didn t want to talk to Owen at the moment. He didn t want to talk to
anyone, but he did crave the feel of Dawn s arms around him and the feel of her soft breasts pressing
into his chest. He missed her. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her eyes sparked when she was
perturbed. The sound of her voice. The way her fingers moved across her piano keys. Across his skin.
Her. He missed her.
Shit. He couldn t allow himself to think about Dawn right now.
He poked the piece of rope under the cuff on his right wrist. [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]